Rob's Screwy News Wednesday

Mar 14th, 2012

Ranking American cities by their barbeque seems like a DEATH WISH, because so many people are insanely passionate on the subject.  But "U.S. News & World Report" went for it anyway.  They ranked Memphis, Tennessee as the best, ahead of Lockhart, Texas and Kansas City, Missouri.

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A 32-year-old paroled drug dealer near London was convicted of having amphetamines when police raided his home.  So he's going back to prison . . . but not right away.  A judge delayed his sentencing because the guy is donating a kidney to his 23-year-old brother.  He'll have the surgery in a few weeks, then have a few months to recover before being sentenced in November.

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On Saturday, a 63-year-old editor from the Portland newspaper "The Oregonian" died of a heart attack.  And in his obituary, the paper revealed exactly HOW he died . . . after GETTING-IT-ON with a 23-year-old mistress who was using him to buy her stuff.  He's survived by his wife and three daughters . . . who are probably pretty angry at his former employer right now.

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St. Patrick's Day is on Saturday, which means this year, you don't even have to take off work to get hammered at eight in the morning.  And a lot of people are going to take advantage of that.

According to the National Retail Federation, 54% of Americans plan on celebrating St. Patrick's Day in some way this year.  They'll each spend an average of $35, for an all-time record of $4.55 BILLION.

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AND FINALLY

After 244 years, Encyclopedia Britannica will stop printing . . . and, yeah, Wikipedia gets most of the blame